How I Became a Gorilla
by Purpleharpist
Summary: 2D, Murdoc, Noodle, and Russel go to Boston, Massachusetts in search of inspiration and musicians to collaborate with on their new album. They didn't expect that they would also find a new friend, and their new friend didn't expect that she would find true happiness through this connection.
1. Chapter 1

It was a dreary Wednesday in March, and I was waiting impatiently in line at one of the many Starbucks coffee shops in Boston, hoping to get my coffee in time to get to my first class of the day, Music Application and Theory.

Basically, it was the harmony class for dummies. Well, dummies to Berklee College of Music standards.

I wasn't complaining about not testing into a higher class though, because it was an easy A and my teacher was one of the few people who could brighten up my mood these days.

Oh these days were tough. I had some friends, but they were what you might call fair weather friends, and fair weather was rather rare in my life.

I pulled out my cellphone, sighing as I did my daily check on the Gorillaz-unofficial website, looking for some news to cheer me up.

Nothing. I wasn't surprised. Of course, the promise was Gorillaz in 2016, and it was only the third month of the year. There was still plenty of time.

As I daydreamed about my favorite fictional and real musicians, I was abruptly pulled out of my reverie by a male, British voice saying "2D." My head snapped up, taking in the tall, skinny frame and messy, blue hair of the man in front of me.

"That's a... unique name," said the barista who was taking his order, sounding bored and rather pissed off.

"Uhm, well you can write Stu I guess, but nobody really calls me that these days," he said.

My heart was pounding. It couldn't be... He wasn't real, he was a fictional character in a fictional band created by wonderfully imaginative and creative people. Was I dreaming? I took a quick look around, doing a mental check which I often do as I sleep to enact my rare talent of lucid dreaming.

Nope. This was real life. Maybe it's some sort of cosplay shit, I realized bitterly, feeling my heart sink to the floor. I was so stupid to actually think even for a moment that 2D was actual flesh and blood, a person, like you or me. Disappointed and slightly embarrassed, I looked down with shame.

"Next!" the annoyed barista said. I smirked, wondering how she would feel about the name Evelyn. Not quite as weird as 2D, but there was always a 50/50 chance of it being misspelled anyway.

I kept thinking about my blue haired friend for the rest of the day. I let myself daydream my way through classes, getting caught up in fantasies about Gorillaz, imagining that I would see this guy again and that maybe he would talk to me. And that he would really be 2D... And he would introduce me to Murdoc, and Noodle, and Russel...

"Evelyn!" My Ear Training teacher said, abruptly bringing me back to real life. "Example 3, measure 6."

After I sang the requested example, I went back to my daydreaming. I'd always had a crush on 2D as I grew up, and the fantasy of him being real was exciting. I pushed the thoughts of my boyfriend at home in Connecticut to the back of my mind as I let my mind wander dreamily into romantic scenarios.

Eventually, the class ended, and I went and grabbed my harp for my private lesson. On my way there, I saw an unfamiliar man on the other side of the street eyeing my instrument with curiosity.

I didn't get a good look at him, but didn't think much of it at the time. I mean, I get weird looks all the time carrying around a big, mysterious case.

Shaking off the weird feeling in my stomach from this unexpected attention, I continued to the lesson.

That night, back in my room, I got out my harp again and started to play.

Eventually my fingers somehow found their way to Melancholy Hill. I sang my heart out, hating the sound of my voice but loving the feeling of my fingers on the strings and the air in my lungs.

Then, I called my boyfriend and went peacefully to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

For the next few weeks, everything went as normal. Well, at least as normal as it will ever be for me.

I let myself withdraw from my friendships, seeking solace in my music, homework, and solitude.

Eventually, Easter came, and I was going home for the weekend. I packed up all the essentials, and my harp, and went to the subway station.

When my train came, I noticed with dismay that it was packed full. I struggled to pull my harp up the stairs and through the door, and began to panic when I realized that my heavy backpack was keeping me from getting the leverage I needed.

Suddenly, I felt a tugging on my harp. I looked up, automatically thanking the stranger who had helped me, and my heart skipped a beat when I saw the blue hair.

"Thank you so much," I said again, trying to ignore this man's similarity to the cartoon singer.

"No problem, love," he said, with a goofy, wide grin. "What is that, a tuba or somefink?"

"No, it's a harp," I said, giggling a little bit at his mistake.

"Isn't it a bit.. small?" he asked, perplexed.

"It's a Celtic harp," I explained, internally rolling my eyes a little bit because this was quite a common interaction for me to have with strangers.

"That's amazing, love," he said, the silly smile returning to his face.

I couldn't help but smile back. "Thanks," I said, blushing a little bit.

"I'm a musician too. I sing and play keys," he said. "I'm in a band. I dunno if you've heard of em... Gorillaz?"

My eyes went wide. Wow, this guy was really into character. My mind started racing, and I began secretly thinking that maybe, just maybe, he was real.

"I- I'm a big fan," I stammered lamely, starting to doubt, just a little bit, everything that I had ever believed about reality and fiction.

A strangely familiar looking man with an odd complexion burst into the conversation, saying to my friend, "C'mon faceache, this is our stop."

"Nice meeting you," said my new blue haired friend happily, as he and his buddy got off the train.

As soon as they left, I realized where I had seen that other man before. He was the one who had been staring at my harp that day.

If my friend really was 2D, then this other man had to be Murdoc. But no, that was impossible.

Or was it?

"Excuse me," a man behind me said, and I realized I was blocking his way out of the train.

Apologizing, I let him out and took his now empty seat, trying to comprehend what was happening.

Eventually, I gave up thinking about it. It was just too confusing. I put in my headphones and turned on Pandora.

Lonely Press Play from Damon Albarn's solo album came on, and I let the music flow through my body, washing away all the mixed emotions in my mind.


	3. Chapter 3

On Easter Sunday afternoon, I returned to school, with way too much candy in my backpack and feeling slightly relieved to be away from the chaos of the holiday.

Putting my stuff down in my room, I looked out the window. The sun had already begun to go down, and the sky was peacefully turning pink and orange. I sat down at my desk without turning on the light.

I didn't know what to do. I had finished most of my homework over the weekend, and I had plenty of time the next morning for anything I didn't finish.

I sat quietly for a moment, until my phone buzzed. It was a group text message from a friend, talking about dinner plans. I didn't really want to go, but I realized it was about time I stopped avoiding them.

I wanted to be home again, with my family. At least they cared about me, and showed it. I was so lonely here in Boston.

I was hungry though, so I slowly walked to the cafeteria, and sat down at a table by the window to wait for my friends. Looking out onto the street below, I watched the people and cars go by. Eventually, I saw a now-familiar blue head of hair walking down the street.

He was with a petite woman with messy, short black hair. I let my mind slip into my secret Gorillaz fantasy again, imagining that this must be Noodle. But who knows, it might not even be the same guy that had been in Starbucks and on the train- blue hair wasn't an uncommon fashion statement in Boston.

I had a sudden, impulsive urge to go and follow them. But I resisted it. I couldn't do that. I shouldn't. I wouldn't. With a slight feeling of disappointment, I watched them start to disappear out of sight, when suddenly the woman looked up towards me, grabbed his arm, and they stopped.

She said something to him, and he looked right up at me. I wasn't quite sure what to do, so I waved, feeling ridiculous.

They both grinned and waved back. She said something else to him, and they turned around and started walking back. Confused, I watched as they walked right towards the building and disappeared under the awning.

A minute later, I got distracted as my friends started arriving. Unenthusiastically, I greeted them, and mostly stayed out of the conversation, not feeling very social tonight.

"'Ello," said a nervous British voice behind me. I looked up and was shocked to see him standing there with his friend.

"I'm Noodle, and this is 2D," said the petite Asian woman, saving him from the awkwardness of the moment.

"I'm Evelyn," I said, "I, uh, I remember you from the train," I stammered, not quite sure what to say. Why would they come to an overpriced college cafeteria just to see me?

I looked back at my other friends and saw that they weren't paying much attention, as some people they knew had just arrived and were distracting them.

"You can sit with us, if you like," I said, finally realizing I had forgotten my manners.

"Thanks!" said the girl who called herself Noodle cheerfully, sitting beside me. The man who claimed to be 2D sat across from me.

"So we're in a band together, and we're here in Boston looking for musicians to collaborate with," said Noodle. "And since 2D found out that you play the harp, we've been wondering if we could hear you play?" She was very efficient and businesslike, but a friendly smile was on her face the whole time.

"Uh, sure!" I said reflexively. "I'd love to." I tried not to let myself wonder who these people were and if they really were 2D and Noodle. I just played along, because honestly, it was easier.

"Great!" she said, her face breaking into a genuinely happy smile.

Next thing I knew, I had brought them to my room and was giving them a private concert. It was so surreal. By the end, 2D had silent tears streaming down his face, and Noodle was looking at me in awe.

I felt myself flush with pride. Finally, I felt appreciated. It was a wonderful feeling.

"You're really good," 2D croaked out through his tears, and Noodle nodded along with a smile.

"I think Murdoc and Russel would love to meet you," Noodle said. "They're our other band members-"

"I know," I interrupted with a laugh, suddenly feeling reckless, and allowing the childish joy of imagination to run through my veins. "I thought you weren't real!" I blurted out, instantly feeling embarrassed for some reason.

They both laughed. "Very few people know," Noodle said very seriously. "You can't tell anyone. I'll admit, we've been following you a little bit. We do it to everyone we collaborate with. We knew you go to Berklee, so you must be an excellent musician. And 2D said that when he spoke with you on the train you were very nice, so we figured you'd be trustworthy and fun to work with. So we decided to take the risk and approach you about it the next time we saw you."

I laughed, feeling overwhelmed by how ridiculous the whole situation was. "When can I meet them?" I asked enthusiastically.

Noodle laughed as well. "Soon," she said vaguely. "I'll have to ask the others first- we had no clue we'd run into you tonight, and we didn't even know if you'd agree to do it or if you would run in the other direction after finding out we're real."

We were all silent for a moment as I soaked in what was happening, and they watched me struggle with the excitement and disbelief.

"Can you- can you sing something for me?" I asked shyly, a little embarrassed.

"Of course, love," said 2D, and Noodle nodded, looking at her friend in anticipation.

"To Binge?" she finally suggested. He readily agreed and I fumbled through the chords as they sang an amazing duet. I closed my eyes as the music filled me with joy, and I felt my whole body relax into the feeling of the song.

After they were done singing, I opened my eyes, and realized there were tears on my cheeks. I looked at the two of them and noticed that their eyes were a bit red too.

Looking at each other, we sort of laughed nervously at the emotionally charged atmosphere that the music had created.

"Thank you," I said.

"No, thank you," Noodle said sincerely. I could see her trying to hold back tears as 2D wiped his nose shamelessly on his sleeve.

"Hey, want a cup of tea or something?" I offered, reflexively trying to lighten the mood, despite how much I love these magical moments of emotion.

We stayed up half the night talking, laughing, and drinking tea. I even let them try playing my harp, which is something I love to do. It can turn anyone into a child again.

Finally, they had to leave because I had a class the next morning, and after exchanging hugs and goodbyes, they left.

As I went to bed, To Binge was still in my head, and I drifted peacefully to sleep with the feeling that I finally had found some true friendship.


	4. Chapter 4

The day after 2D and Noodle heard me play for the first time, I woke up wondering whether it was real.

After accepting (for the most part) that they were the real deal, and that it wasn't a dream or hallucination, I suddenly realized that I had no way to contact them. Shit.

Well, if they really had been following me around they would find me eventually, right?

As I got ready for the day, I began to worry about losing the one wonderful thing that I had just found. The thing that had made me finally so happy and excited to see what life had in store for me.

As I went through my day and didn't see any sign of them, I grew even more worried. Who cares if they were real if I would never even see them again?

Worry became anger, and anger became despair. Upset, I decided to take a walk to clear my head.

I walked aimlessly along the sidewalk, not paying attention to where I was going. Eventually, I felt so overwhelmed by anxiety and sadness that I sat on a park bench and began to cry.

After a while, I felt the weight of another person sitting down on the bench beside me, and, looking up, saw a large black man.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He asked gently, looking at me with concern.

"Nothing, I just-" I waited for the right words to come, but I couldn't think of anything.

"It's okay," he said. I couldn't meet his eyes out of embarrassment but saw that he was looking at me. I wasn't sure if it made it better or worse.

"I'm Russel," he finally said.

My head snapped up and meeting his gaze at last, I softly said, "Oh." After an awkward pause I remembered to say, "I'm Evelyn. It's nice to meet you."

It was his turn to be surprised. "Oh," he said. "So, I'm assuming you're the Evelyn that's going to be my new bandmate?"

"Yeah," I said, now feeling ridiculous for having been crying over never seeing them again.

"Welcome to the family," he said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and giving me a squeeze.

He went on to say, "We look out for each other. If you don't wanna talk about whatever's bothering you that's okay, but just let me know if there's anything I can do to help."

"Thank you," I said, a slight smile curling at the corners of my lips.

We sat in silence for a while, and it was nice. I felt very comfortable in his presence. I didn't feel pressured to talk, but I knew that if I did he would listen.

Russel pulled his phone out of his pocket, and sighed. "Shit," he mumbled to himself, "Muds wants me back to practice, he says he has a new song and they need a drummer right now."

"Oh," I said, unsure of what to say.

"Come along if you want," he said, standing up and gesturing for me to follow.

"Sure," I said, and he took me to a shabby looking apartment building a few blocks away.

We went inside, and finally entered a room that was full of instruments, recording equipment, and other interesting objects. It was an absolute mess. It was a musician's dream.

"Hey!" 2D squealed with delight, coming out of another room, closely followed by Noodle.

"Where's Murdoc?" Russel said, sounding a bit ticked off.

"Oh, out buying booze again," Noodle said, rolling her eyes but giggling slightly.

"It took you long enough!" Murdoc said, bursting through the door carrying bags of alcohol.

Noodle raised her eyebrows. "Talking to yourself?" she retorted.

Murdoc had an intense fury in his eyes as he struggled to think of a response to that.

2D patted the couch cushion next to where he was now seated, inviting me to sit back and watch the drama unfold with him. I joined him, sensing that he was pleased that Murdoc was bickering with someone other than him for once.

"So is this song any good?" Russel inquired, directing his question towards Noodle.

"It's bloody amazing!" Murdoc shouted enthusiastically.

Noodle shrugged. "It's not bad I guess," she admitted, "but that's only because 2D and I helped."

I excitedly watched them set up their equipment, realizing I was going to be the first one to hear a new Gorillaz song since 2010.

Suddenly, there was a loud screeching sound.

"Bloody hell!" Murdoc screamed over the castrophony. "Not again!"

We made our way out of the building as the fire alarm rang and rang. Disappointed, I wondered if I would still get to hear the song.

We stood around in the parking lot as a fire truck came to make sure the building was safe. I idly got out my phone to check the time, and realized I had ten minutes before my art history class started.

"Umm, I just realized I have to go to class soon," I said awkwardly, wishing I didn't have to go but knowing it was the right thing to do.

Russel looked at me for a moment, and as if he read my mind, said, "Do you want our contact information so we can stay in touch?"

"Yes, please," I said with a grin, and he added me into a group text message with the four of them.

"I can't wait to hear that song," I said.

Murdoc responded, "You know, I had something in mind for a harp part, if you're interested."

"Of course!" I exclaimed.

After our farewells, I walked away towards my class, the fire alarm fading fainter and fainter into the distance and, blending with the traffic noises, almost sounding like music from another world.


	5. Chapter 5

Over the next week or so, every few days I'd get a text and go back to that messy, musician's dream of an apartment.

Murdoc and Russel were just as impressed with my playing as Noodle and 2D had been, causing my heart to leap with pride and embarrassment every time I played for them.

I finally got to hear the new song, and after trying out Murdoc's idea for a harp part decided to change it entirely, to Noodle's delight and amusement.

Murdoc didn't seem pleased with my idea of changing it at first, but once he heard what I had in mind he couldn't help but like it better this way.

These hours spent playing music were a wonderful escape from my lonesome life at Berklee. I found myself spending more and more time with Gorillaz and less with my other friends. I felt so free and happy.

Eventually, though, I realized I was growing distant from my boyfriend as well. As I unlocked my door and went into my room after an amazing Saturday with the band, I decided it was time to tell him.

"Hi Brandon," I said sweetly over the phone. We chatted about things for a while, and I kept putting off telling him. Would he believe me? Should I tell a half truth? Should I let him know it had been going on for over a week already?

"Guess what," I said bravely out of the blue.

"What?" he said.

"You know how I told you I'd been playing music with some friends lately?" I said, starting by bringing up what I had mentioned in passing some time earlier.

"Yeah," he said.

"What if I told you that they're famous?" I said.

"Of course they are," he laughed, flirting a bit, "if you're playing with them."

"But what if I told you I've been obsessed with them for several years already?" I clarified.

"That's great," he said, not realizing the magnitude of what I was trying to get across. "Who is it?" he asked.

"Gorillaz," I said, easing him into the idea.

"Oh my god! Are you serious?! I can't believe it!" he said.

"There's more," I said, my heart beating faster and faster. Deciding I had to believe that he would trust me, I said, "You know the cartoon characters? I- I met them."

He was silent for a bit. I could tell that he was confused and worried about me.

"I'm not crazy," I said weakly, not completely believing the words I was saying.

"I don't get it," he said at last.

"Come and visit tomorrow. It'll make more sense once you do," I said.

And the next morning while he was on his way to Boston, I nervously texted Noodle and told her the whole situation. At first she was a bit angry that I had exposed their secret, but she was more accepting once I had explained that keeping secrets could have destroyed my relationship.

She told me that if I trust him, they'll trust him too, and she agreed to break the news to the rest of the band.

At noon, we all met at a cafe for lunch. Brandon and I were early, and as we ordered our food and anxiously waited for the rest to arrive, I reassured him that everything was going to be alright, although I felt sick to my stomach just thinking about this collision of worlds.

Finally, the band arrived. I carefully watched Brandon's face as he took in the sight of all of them, breathing, talking, and existing. Eventually, he excused himself to go to the restroom, and I knew that he was overwhelmed.

Russel caught my eye, seeming to understand, and went after him. I don't know what he said to Brandon, but when they both came back my boyfriend looked a lot calmer and more comfortable. I smiled a silent thank you to Russel, and he patted my back reassuringly before he sat back down.

As we sat there chatting, I was delighted to see them all getting along quite nicely. Brandon and 2D got into some conversation about video games, and I happily watched them talk.

Eventually, we went back to the band's apartment, and we played some music. Brandon was shy at first about joining in, but eventually Russel convinced him to play his drum kit for a while. He wasn't a professional musician obviously, but he wasn't bad either, and we had a good time.

After Brandon left to go back home to Connecticut, the five of us sat for a while in silence, waiting for someone to speak.

"That wasn't as bad as I thought it would be," Murdoc said eventually.

"Admit it," Noodle teased, "You liked him."

"I guess," Murdoc grumbled reluctantly and we all grinned. It was getting late, and the last thing I wanted was to leave after spending the day with the people I loved most in the world.

So I didn't leave. I stuck around and we kept talking, and playing music, and we had some beer, and some more beer, and eventually I fell asleep on the couch and didn't wake up until morning.

"'Ello there," said a sweet, gentle voice, as a hand brushed my hair off my face. I opened my eyes and saw 2D's face smiling down at me.

A blanket over me and a pillow under my head had miraculously appeared overnight, and I tried to sit up, ignoring the pounding in my head.

"Ow," I moaned.

2D giggled. "You ever been hung over before, love?" I shook my head no, and we both laughed.

I looked over to the kitchen to see Russel already making breakfast. Murdoc's snores could be heard from the other room, and Noodle was helping in the kitchen.

Despite the pain in my head, I was happy to be here. I reached out toward my harp and absentmindedly started playing something I had written quite a while ago.

2D started singing along softly, making up some nonsensical words. Eventually Noodle was dancing around and nodding her head to the music as she and Russel made breakfast.

Murdoc poked his head out of his bedroom door as if he was about to yell at us to shut up, but seeming to decide against it, he sighed and sat down at the table, and let us play.


	6. Chapter 6

Life continued on in this way, and the only one who knew about my secret was Brandon, and the band of course.

Everyone else in my life had started to notice a change in my mood though, saying things like, "You look happy," more and more frequently, something which I rarely used to hear.

I gradually started spending more time at the band's apartment, often staying overnight on the couch after staying up late playing music, laughing, and getting drunk or high.

Eventually, they started to notice my frequent panic attacks, and how I would wake up screaming at night. I reassured them that it was normal for me, and that they shouldn't worry, but they did anyway.

I mean, it's been like this as long as I can remember. And although my new friends helped a bit, nothing could erase anxiety from my life completely.

One night I was having a particularly bad panic attack, after everyone had gone to bed. I tried not to wake them, and sat like a statue on my couch shaking and crying as quietly as I could.

It went on like this for a while, until someone sat down next to me in the dark and started rubbing my back.

I couldn't see who it was, but was surprised to hear Murdoc's voice saying, "Hey, it'll be okay."

I'd never seen this side of him before. He was like an entirely different person. Leaning into his shoulder, I let him comfort me.

Eventually I was smiling, and I said softly, "Thank you."

"It's what we do for each other. Being a musician- being creative- it always comes with a price. The price is different for everyone but this is what it is for you and we're here to help you pay it."

Smiling, but crying a little bit again at his sentimental words, I wrapped my arms tightly around him.

Eventually, I must've fallen asleep, because next thing I knew I was lying curled up on one side of the couch with Murdoc snoring on the other, sitting up with his head tipped back.

Wondering vaguely what had awoken me, I looked to the kitchen to see Noodle quietly brewing a pot of coffee. I noticed that some early morning light was coming in from the window over the sink.

"Good morning," she said softly, brining me a cup of coffee with just the right amount of sugar and cream.

She sat cross legged on the floor, seeming not to be phased at all about Murdoc's presence beside me.

After sitting quietly in companionable silence for a few moments, I asked awkwardly, "So, aren't you going to ask why Murdoc is here and not in his bed?"

"Nope," she said, and I wondered whether she had figured out what had happened or if she was just disinterested.

After another few moments, she went on to say, "He's a real asshole, but once you get to know him he's one of the sweetest guys out there."

"Yeah, I guess he is," I said, suddenly realizing that she was right.

After a few sips of coffee, I said thoughtfully, "He told me last night that being creative comes with a price."

"Of course it does," she said. "He's told me that many times before. It can be your soul, or your money, or your addictions, or your mental health, but every artist needs that suffering inside of them to create something beautiful to put out into the world. It doesn't matter who you are or how famous you get, there's no way to get away from it."

I slowly sipped my coffee, absorbing her words. It made a lot of sense, in a way. I wanted to ask about her own personal experiences with suffering, but didn't want to pry.

Instead I sat and listened to Murdoc snoring, laughing internally at how comforting the sound was; it had always been so annoying previous to our conversation last night.

Soon, 2D woke up and saw the three of us in the living room area. He smiled his usual toothless grin at us in a silent greeting.

Noodle got up and gave him a hug, and as I sat awkwardly wondering what to do he came over and hugged me too.

I felt the internal warmth of being part of a family, which I had missed so much after moving out of my parents' house.

We chatted for a while about various topics in soft voices, trying not to wake Murdoc.

Eventually Russel emerged from another room with a big yawn.

"You're all up early," he said, "Except Muds, I see."

Like Noodle and 2D, he wasn't asking why Murdoc was sleeping on the couch, and I wondered with some embarrassment whether my crying had been loud enough to wake them all up last night.

Noodle hopped up from where she was sitting and poured herself another cup of coffee as well as one for Russel.

Then she sat between me and Murdoc on the couch and kissed his cheek. I was usually pretty uncomfortable around such affectionate people, but her kindness was really starting to warm my heart.

Finally Murdoc stirred at the physical contact, and groaned, "Bloody hell, get away from me, it's too early for this."

I smiled, seeing that he was back to his usual grumpy self, but knowing that deep down he really did care.

Noodle giggled and went to sit back down on the floor, grabbing her acoustic guitar on the way. She started to strum softly, and 2D absentmindedly started improvising a melody.

Without really thinking about it, I started singing a harmony. They all looked at me in surprise, and I realized I had never sung in front of them before, and had never intended to for that matter.

They smiled, and my heart leapt with joy and pride as I realized they accepted me just as I was.


	7. Chapter 7

Soon the weather started getting warmer, and on a particularly nice Spring day 2D and I decided to go on a walk. I took him to the Boston Commons, as he'd never been there before.

We sat down in the shade of a tree on the soft grass, and laid back to look at the puffy clouds floating by. I suddenly thought of the first time I had seen him in that coffee shop, and I giggled slightly.

Laughing along with me absentmindedly, he eventually said, "What?"

"Nothing," I said, too embarrassed to admit that on that day I hadn't thought he was real. Or even worse, that for a brief moment I had believed in something which had seemed, at the time, to be impossible.

"Oh look, it's a harp," he said, happily pointing up at a vaguely triangular cloud in the sky. I started to laugh uncontrollably, simultaneously amused and inspired by his vivid imagination.

"What?" he said, looking a little hurt.

"I'm sorry," I said, "You're just…" I trailed off. What was he? Funny? Cute? Ridiculous? He frowned at me as I tried to figure out what to say without making him feel even more uncomfortable. Our previously lighthearted mood was fading, and I started to panic.

I suddenly felt the urge to move, and said, "Hey, let's go walk around some more." He agreed, but I was sad to see that his mood had noticeably declined. To cheer him up, I suggested that we get some coffee. I tried to pay for his beverage to make up for hurting his feelings, but he wouldn't let me.

"You're sweet," he said, as he handed over the money for both of our coffees. The young man working at the coffee shop chuckled at our interaction, which really got on my nerves. It wasn't cute, and it wasn't funny. It was absolute hell.

Sipping our coffees at an outdoor table, I noticed that 2D seemed much more cheerful, but now I was the grumpy one, feeling anxiety building up in my chest and stomach. It comforted me to know that he was happy again though, so I just let him enjoy this moment.

Eventually I had to head back to campus to go to class, so I got up from the table and threw my cup away. He gave me a hug, and glancing up at the sky I blurted out, "Superfast Jellyfish!"

"Huh?" he said, confused, pulling back. I pointed up at the cloud I had seen and now we were both laughing.

He choked out between laughs, "Now you're getting the hang of it, love."

"I have to go back now," I said regretfully.

"Come over tonight, we're going to write some new songs!" he said.

I groaned and said, "When am I supposed to do my homework?" He shrugged and we shared a laugh before parting ways.

Later that night, I was attempting to do my homework while the rest of the band came up with new song ideas, but every now and then I got distracted. I would be half listening, half working, and suddenly I would get a strike of inspiration and share it with them.

Eventually, to Murdoc's dismay since I had contributed quite a bit, Noodle banished me to the room she shared with 2D, saying that I needed to do well in school. I was disappointed but I knew that even if I was now working with a famous band, a music degree might still come in handy someday.

I found myself still getting distracted looking around the room. There were some pictures of the band, and clothes strewn everywhere- well, half of everywhere. It was obvious which bed was Noodle's because it was much neater than 2D's, which had clothes and various objects on and around it.

I sat on 2D's bed, because the mess reminded me of my own room and it was oddly comforting. Looking at a picture of the four of them on the night stand, I felt my stomach sink. I could feel arising in myself the distinct but familiar feeling of not fitting in.

I was just a dumb kid that was still in college, and they were Gorillaz. They were all legends and I was a nobody- I felt, actually, like less than a nobody at the moment. I felt like a walking disaster that just didn't belong anywhere.

I don't know how long I sat there, but by the time Noodle came in to check on me I hadn't done any school work. I quickly pretended to be writing something but she obviously didn't buy it.

"We're all done, I think it's time for bed," she said, "you're welcome to stay."

"No, I- I have class in the morning and I don't want to be late. It's best that I head back to my dorm," I quickly lied. I then walked hastily past her and out of the apartment.

Once I was safely in the hallway, I began to cry. I didn't understand why I was so upset. They had been nothing but kind to me. I should have been happy. I suppose this was what happened with all of my friends. I always ended up feeling left out or uncomfortable and pushing them away.

As I walked back to my place, I let myself become lost in pain and self pity. Suddenly, I heard an unfamiliar male voice call out to me.

"Hey gorgeous, what's the matter?" the stranger slurred drunkenly, "I could help you feel better, if you know what I mean."

Starting to panic, I began to run but he was too quick and grabbed my arm. I didn't have time to scream. The stranger was knocked out of the way by, surprisingly enough, Noodle.

Russel grabbed the man's throat intimidatingly and said, "If you talk to our friend like that again we will destroy you."

Murdoc spat in the man's face and called him some very insulting names.

2D pulled me into a hug and whispered, "Its okay. Noods was worried because you seemed upset and we didn't want you to walk alone this late at night anyways. You'll be okay. We're all here for you."

I sobbed into his shoulder and he kept shushing me, and began to sing a song that we had written together a few days ago. I felt so safe, and so loved, even if it was just for the briefest moment.


	8. Chapter 8

Gradually, the band found some new people besides myself to collaborate with on the album. Singers, songwriters, instrumentalists, music technology geniuses, and the like.

They were all pretty cool, but I was definitely still the youngest and the least experienced. It was a little intimidating, but it made me feel special in a way. The core members of the band looked after me like a family, especially through my struggles with mental illnesses and my transition to adulthood.

One day, after classes were over, I headed over the the band's place, hoping someone would be around to hang out with me. I didn't have much else to do and didn't feel like going to my room and being alone.

Standing outside the door, I could hear voices yelling. It sounded like Noodle and Murdoc. I hesitated to knock, not wanting to interrupt their argument. Naturally, I couldn't help but overhear a bit of what they were shouting at each other, and it made my stomach twist into a knot.

"You're a selfish, heartless bastard to want to do that," Noodle was passionately reprimanding him, "She's a student, and you can't just go and take away her opportunity to get a degree!"

"What the bloody hell would she need a degree for when she has us?! School is for people that have no talent and no connections. She's better than that."

Suddenly, a grumpy old woman came up to the door and banged on it, yelling, "Would you shut up already? I don't mind the music but the bickering I could live without."

Without even a glance in my direction, she disappeared into the next apartment over, and Noodle and Murdoc's voices faded to a level too low for me to hear.

I slowly slid down the wall to sit on the floor in the hallway, contemplating either going inside or going back to my dorm. I figured that they had been arguing about me, but I wasn't sure what exactly all of that meant.

Eventually, Russel and 2D came down the hall, laughing and eating ice cream despite the unseasonably cold weather.

"What's wrong, girl?" Russel finally said, spotting me on the floor.

"Oh, um, I think Noodle and Murdoc were arguing about something and I didn't want to burst in..." I said lamely, leaving out the part where they had been talking about me.

2D and Russ exchanged a knowing look, and Russel looked at me apologetically.

"She would have had to find out eventually I suppose," he said to 2D with a deep sigh, and to me, he said, "Come on, let's go on a walk."

2D offered me his ice cream in an effort to be kind, but, feeling nauseous, I shook my head and followed Russel out of the building.

"What's going on?" I demanded, not trying to be rude but feeling too betrayed to really care.

"Murdoc wants you to come back to England with us," he said eventually.

Letting that sink in, I felt myself start to panic. I suddenly realized that I would have to give up on going to school in order to do this, and I would lose my full scholarship in the process. Heart pounding, I started to feel really dizzy with the weight of this decision.

"W-what do you think I should do?" I asked, desperately looking for his advice.

"That's up to you," he said. Noticing that I looked even more anxious at this response, he added, "Noodle and Murdoc have a disagreement on this matter, as I'm sure you now know. 2D and I are trying not to take sides, but I truly believe it's your decision to make."

Hearing a scuffling noise behind us, I looked back and saw 2D looking nervously at us as he saved himself from tripping over a particularly bumpy crack in the sidewalk.

"I- I couldn't just go in there," he said awkwardly, "You know how bad both of their tempers can get."

"It's okay," I said, before Russel could accuse him of interrupting. I smiled weakly at both of them and said, "Don't worry about it," while all I could do inside was worry about it.

2D looked at me with pity and said, "I'm sorry, love, I'm sorry about all this."

Russel gave 2D a dark look, saying, "So you're gonna make me tell them how she found out, I suppose?"

"No," I said, feeling a sudden burst of rebellious bravery, "I'm perfectly capable of telling them myself." I turned on my heels and went back to that door, but as I was about to knock, my hand started to shake. What would I say? I hadn't exactly thought this through, and I definitely hadn't reached a decision.

Eventually a gentle hand rested on my shoulder, and 2D said with a nervous, trembling voice, "We can do it together." I squeezed his hand, and he unlocked the door and it swung open.


	9. Chapter 9

Noodle and Murdoc were sitting at opposite ends of the room, Noodle on her laptop with headphones on and a sour expression on her face, and Murdoc with a magazine obscuring most of his face, occasionally letting out a grumpy, unintelligible grumble.

Neither of them looked up when 2D and I entered the room, so we sat awkwardly at the kitchen table, 2D drumming his fingers nervously on the tabletop. He looked absolutely terrified. Although I felt exactly how he looked, I couldn't help but let out a giggle at his comical expression.

I realized that making a sound was a mistake as Murdoc's eyes snapped up and darkly glared at us.

2D cleared his throat and announced, "It's a lovely day out today," although clearly it was cloudy and rather chilly.

Murdoc snorted without looking up from his magazine, and Noodle still seemed not to notice us, although her jaw clenched a little bit, making me believe that her headphones weren't blocking out our conversation entirely.

"Let's get out of here," I whispered to 2D.

"What?" He said loudly.

Rolling my eyes, I grabbed him by the sleeve and dragged him out of the tension-filled apartment.

He looked at me in confusion in the hallway for a moment, before we both burst out laughing.

"That was... awkward," he finally said.

"That was definitely a bad idea," I chuckled, and he nodded earnestly in agreement.

Eventually we noticed Russel in the hallway looking at us in disapproval.

"So, you didn't do it," he said.

2D and I started laughing uncontrollably again, and Russel, shaking his head exasperatedly, went into the apartment, presumably to do the terrifying thing which we had just tried to do.

2D and I decided to go outside and go for a walk, and we ended up climbing a tree, which resulted in us getting reprimanded by an old lady. We proceeded to go into a mall and attempted to run up a down escalator, and then ran around and around in a revolving door until we were dizzy. Eventually, we raced up a steep hill and, falling down on the grass, out of breath, smiled.

"I'm glad we have Russ to be the adult," I said. Nodding, he said, "Murdoc and Noodle are like the older siblings that think they're being responsible, but they have no clue what they're doing." I laughed and said, "We're just in our terrible twos I guess."

He looked at me as though I was an absolute genius, and said, "Because I'm 2D, and there's two of us..."

I raised my eyebrows, "Clever," I said sarcastically.

"Too bad the clouds are so... cloudy today," he said, changing the topic, looking up at the overcast sky.

"It's like an ocean," I said contemplatively, "look, there's some waves, and even a whale spout-"

"No! No whales," he said with a shudder and I giggled.

"Just kidding," I said hastily, "maybe it's just a splash from a fish jumping or something."

We lay on the grass and daydreamed a while, and eventually I asked, "Should I go to England with you?"

He didn't answer right away, seeming to think for a while. "Well, I would like it if you did. I mean, you seem to get me more than anyone else in the band does, or anyone in the world really, and it'd be nice having you around for a little while longer."

I looked at him, surprised but touched at his sentimental words.

"It's an entirely selfish reason to want you to come with us, though," he said, averting his eyes, "I want what's best for you, and if that's school, then I'll just have a nice pen pal and maybe we can visit sometimes." He smiled at me but there was a hint of sadness and silent pleading in his expression.

"Well, what's the most important thing in life? It's happiness, right? I've never been this happy in my life, and once you guys leave, I'll probably be lonely and unhappy again. I guess leaving could ruin my career, but it could also be the best thing to happen to me in my life."

We sat thoughtfully in silence for a few moments, and I became aware of a guitar strumming softly in the distance.

"Music is music, wherever you are and whatever you're doing. But friendship only happens when you're with the right people," I said.

I silently wondered what would happen to my relationship with Brandon if I did choose to leave. Could he come with us? I was suddenly torn. And my school friends... They weren't the best, but they were pretty important too. And my family...

2D seemed to notice the distress on my face and touched my cheek, saying, "Hey, it's okay. You've got time to decide. Don't worry."

The guitar playing in the distance continued to strum, and I let it wash away some of the anxiety I was experiencing.

"You're a great friend," I said suddenly, and 2D replied, "You too."


	10. Chapter 10

Eventually Brandon came to Boston to visit again, and Noodle insisted that the four Gorillaz and the two of us would need to have a family discussion.

I hadn't told him about Murdoc's plan yet, and I was feeling extra nervous. There had to be a compromise. There just had to.

Confused, Brandon followed me to the apartment as I explained that Noodle wanted to talk about something with all of us. I didn't tell him any more than that, leaving it to my new family to explain.

"How are you?" Noodle said cheerfully, but with a hint of seriousness, and he blushed as she gave him a gentle hug.

After he mumbled a response, she went on to say, "Murdoc has an idea, and it's been creating a bit of a divide between us. We were hoping your opinion could help us make a decision." She shot Murdoc a stern look as she said this.

Russel remained silent, with an unreadable expression on his face, and 2D was starting to shake and I noticed him pop a few pills as he nervously awaited what would happen.

Murdoc said to Brandon, "Your girlfriend here is very talented, and we want her to come back to England with us to start recording, now that we have a good idea of some new songs for the album. We'll also be taking some other new collaborators, and it will be good for her and for us."

Noodle butted in, saying angrily, "The problem with this crazy, selfish idea is that she would need to give up on her education, for now at least, and lose her full scholarship."

Brandon was avoiding meeting their eyes, and I grabbed his hand. His head snapped up and looked at me. He looked on the verge of tears.

"Can I go with you, if you go?" he said, and although he directed the question towards me, I looked to Russel, as he was the most logical person in the room.

"Of course," he said calmly, to my surprise.

"What? No!" Murdoc shouted in an outrage, jumping violently to his feet "I'm not paying for his plane ticket!"

Russel grabbed Murdoc by the collar and growled, "This isn't your band. This is our band, and our money, so I think we need a vote. So who thinks Brandon should come with us?"

Noodle glared at Murdoc and Russel in silence, finally saying sourly, "I thought this discussion would be about whether Evelyn was coming with us, not about bringing along roadies too."

I looked at 2D nervously, as he had remained silent for the whole conversation. "She wants to come with us," he said shakily, and I nodded at him to confirm that his perception was correct.

Murdoc smiled at me in glee, and gave Noodle a smug look.

2D cleared his throat and said awkwardly, "And, er, I think it's important that Brandon comes with us as well, if he wants, because they love each other and he can help us carry around our stuff anyways."

The room filled with tension as Murdoc and Noodle glared at each other, Russel drummed his fingers on the coffee table nervously, and Brandon and I squeezed each other's hands.

Eventually, 2D said into the silence, "I mean, we could always take her to England for just the summer and then let her go back to school in the fall. That should be enough time to record all the harp tracks. And Brandon can come too if he wants, even though it'll only be a few months."

Everyone looked at him in disbelief. I don't know what they were all thinking, but I was internally facepalming at how ridiculously obvious this compromise was, and how of all people, 2D had been the one to think of it.

Murdoc and Noodle suddenly grinned at each other and she pulled 2D into a tight hug.

"Thank you," she whispered in a sudden outburst of emotion. Then she patted Murdoc on the back and, looking at the floor and swallowing her pride, said, "I guess we don't have to argue anymore. I- I'm sorry for being such a bitch."

Russel sighed exasperatedly, saying, "Ya'll are so dramatic." We laughed, and started planning for our amazing summer.

As Brandon and I left to go back to my dorm for the night, I caught 2D's eye and shot him a grin. He really had saved the day. He grinned toothlessly back and, with a wink, let us go.

On our way back, Brandon said, "Should I quit my summer job? We really need the money, for our apartment this fall, and saving up for the future... and I think you'd be in good hands. I mean, it's only a few months anyway."

We walked in silence for a few moments before I responded, "You're right. I just- I need to talk to the band about it some more first." I hadn't even thought about his job, and our future, since getting so caught up in this new world.

Before I met the band, Brandon had been the only thing getting me through each day, and being away from him for a whole summer would previously have seemed impossible before meeting my new friends.

Suddenly, he stopped walking, wrapped his arms around me in a tight embrace, and whispered, "I'm so proud of you. For everything." He kissed me deeply as the traffic steadily rushed by, and I knew that no matter where I was, as long as I had the right people by my side I was on the right path.

A/N Thank you so much for reading this so far! Ten chapters woohoo! I hope you're enjoying it. Please leave a review, and thank you to the lovely people who have reviewed already, because you have no idea how encouraging it is to hear that people actually like my first story ever. I'm also open to new ideas and suggestions. Have a great day. P.S. check out Jamie Hewlett's instagram if you haven't yet, he just posted a couple videos... it's happening! :D


	11. Chapter 11

Soon we had worked out the details of the next coming months. Murdoc and Russel would leave to continue traveling the globe in search of the best musicians, and Noodle and 2D would stay with me to keep writing songs, picking through our material to eliminate the tracks that wouldn't make it onto the album, and working with our other collaborators to find new sounds.

After my semester was over, 2D, Noodle, and I would fly to Europe for the summer. Of course, this was only a rough plan. Knowing Murdoc, he might suddenly get a musical idea and summon either, or both, of them at any moment.

To be honest, this was my worst fear. I had my biological family just a few hours away, and Brandon, and my friends at school who I was gradually becoming closer to; but Gorillaz had become my life. It was hard enough knowing I'd soon be without half of them for a few weeks, and the prospect of having all of them gone was almost a guarantee that the loneliness would swallow me up once again.

Eventually I realized I would need to tell my parents about this plan. Of course, I didn't tell them the whole story. I just let them know that I was going to Europe over the summer with some new friends to work on music, and that all the expenses would be covered. They were a bit shocked, but soon they realized that since I was an adult, and I wasn't asking for them to do anything for me, as long as I promised to stay safe they couldn't argue with my going.

I continued with school and my frequent visits with the band for a while, and soon the day came when Russel and Murdoc were to leave. There were hugs all around, and it felt like a huge turning point in our path together. The next time I would see them, my semester would be over, and we would be recording.

"Good luck, kiddo," Russel said, giving me a big bear hug, and Murdoc stood awkwardly until I reached out to wrap my arms around him, remembering the time he had helped me through that panic attack. He relaxed into the hug, patting my back.

"See ya later," he mumbled, looking at the ground in embarrassment.

Noodle attacked them both with affectionate hugs and goodbyes, and 2D casually but earnestly wished them luck on their journey as well. And then, it was just the three of us.

As the door shut behind them, 2D and Noodle looked at each other. I felt a bit awkward as she raised her eyebrows and giggled, then went to the stereo system and turned on the song Dare. Confused, I watched as they started dancing, singing, and jumping around, suddenly seeming completely carefree. Noodle grabbed my hand and pulled me off of the couch, letting me join in with their little celebration of god knew what.

After the song was over, we collapsed onto the couch, with me in the center, the three of us out of breath and laughing.

"What was that all about?" I finally asked.

Noodle laughed, "Could you imagine Russel doing that? Or Murdoc? No, of course not. So it's a little tradition of ours, when they're away. It's silly I guess, but we have to do something to relax. Especially since we aren't all together for now."

I felt touched to be included in their personal tradition, although admittedly I still felt a bit like an intruder to their obviously close friendship. I had just met them, and they had known each other, well, for more than half of Noodle's life anyways.

Noodle jumped up and found some more songs to dance around to, pulling us along with her. She was such a complex person- so demanding, but affectionate, protective, brooding, but still carefree. I was a little bit intimidated by her, to be honest, and felt a little bit of competition with her as the only two female members of the band, but I was looking forward to getting to know her better in the coming weeks.

Eventually, after at least an hour of dancing and singing, we were exhausted. Once again, I found myself settling down on the couch to spend the night, but then Noodle reminded me that there were now two vacant beds. Shuddering at the thought of Murdoc's bed, with his lack of personal hygiene, I chose to sleep in Russel's bed. It was not quite as messy as Murdoc's, but not as neat as I remembered Noodle's to be. Just right, I suppose.

Lying there, I felt a bit lonely. I could hear faint voices talking softly in the next room, and jealousy overwhelmed my body in a wave of anxiety which started to become a panic attack. In an effort to soothe myself, I picked up a pair of drumsticks from the night stand. Drumming absentmindedly on the bed, I remembered Russel's words of encouragement from when we had first met.

He had told me that we looked after each other, and that we were a family.

Soon I found myself knocking on 2D and Noodle's door, nervously holding Russ's blanket and pillow, and shakily asked if I could sleep on their floor for the night.

To my surprise, they didn't seem to think twice of it. Perhaps my distress was apparent on my face, or perhaps they chose not to question my request. Noodle insisted that I take her bed, while I insisted on taking the floor. She was hard to argue with though, so eventually I gave in and slipped into her sheets, which smelled freshly like laundry detergent and a hint of perfume.

"Thanks," I said, snuggling sleepily into the bed.

"Goodnight, love," 2D yawned. Next thing I knew, I was waking up in the morning, and with a jolt of surprise and happiness realized that I had made it through the night without any nightmares or panic attacks.

2D was snoring softly, and I could hear Noodle's bare feet padding around in the kitchen, and the gurgling of the coffee pot.

I sat up and stretched quietly, but 2D's eyes opened at my sudden movement, sleepily blinking at me in slight confusion. Then his face broke out in a smile. Feeling silly, I threw the pillow at him, and giggling, he threw it back in my face.

"I smell coffee," I whispered, and he nodded, getting out of bed. I looked away, blushing as he threw on a pair of pants over his pink boxers. We went out into the kitchen, to find Noodle scowling into her coffee.

It didn't take much time to figure out what she was unhappy about, as we soon realized that Russel wasn't around to make us breakfast as he usually did. And it was rather quiet without Murdoc's loud snores drifting in from the other room.

Quietly, the three of us sipped our coffee, and eventually Noodle went to the living room area and softly began strumming her guitar. 2D made his way over as well and started messing about on one of his keyboards. Having left my harp at my dorm this time, I went up next to 2D and started picking out some notes, using some of the music theory knowledge I was learning at school to find some tensions that sent shivers down my spine.

We kept playing until it was time for me to go to class, and then I sadly left, leaving them to continue making music and enjoying each other's friendship and company for the rest of the day.


	12. Chapter 12

One lonely Wednesday afternoon, I found myself wandering around after my harp lesson, crying. We had spent most of the time talking about how I wasn't doing enough work. I had a half an hour break, and then I had to go back to the harp room for a group harp class, which was the last thing I wanted to do.

As I slowly ambled along, listening to music in my headphones to drown out my sadness, I shivered at the unseasonably cold air and felt just as sad about the weather as I did about my teacher's disappointment in me.

Eventually, I sat on a bench, turning the music up loud against the annoying chattering and rude shouting of passersby.

After a little while like this, I felt the weight of someone sitting beside me. I felt a warm hand wipe a tear off of my cheek, and I knew it was 2D.

"Hey there," he said gently, and I could only hear him over the music because his face was so close to mine.

Taking out my earbuds, I said, "I don't belong here." He looked at me confused for a moment before I went on to say, "They just want me to be their stupid musician puppet and do whatever they want me to do. Every time I get an inspiration of my own I get penalized for it, or I don't have time to carry it out, because it isn't what they want. I need to get out of here."

I looked desperately into his deep eyes and felt his hand squeeze tightly around mine.

"Then let's go," he said, with a glimmer of recklessness in his eyes.

I sighed. "No," I said. "Noodle is right about this whole school thing, I should finish my degree, it's what's best for me."

He frowned at me. "But, you're not happy," he said sadly.

"Some things about this place make me happy," I said uncertainly, "so I guess I just have to live for those things for now."

We sat quietly for a while, and eventually I asked, "So, how did you find me here?"

He chuckled and said, "You walk here at this time every week, you've mentioned it to us at least twice before." I vaguely remembered the conversation, but I was surprised and touched by his attentiveness and genuine caring.

"Hey, you know what?" he said, "Let's call Noods and plan out a day trip tomorrow, you don't have any classes, right?"

I frowned. "I have homework. And my harp teacher hates me because I don't practice. I can't take a day off..."

"C'mon," he whined, "you need it. It'll make you happy, and that'll make us happy, and isn't that what's most important?"

I sighed and leaned against his shoulder. He must've figured out by now that I couldn't resist an adventure, because he took out his phone gleefully to call Noodle.

After telling her that we were going to do something fun tomorrow, he shooed me away to go to my harp class so they could plan our little getaway as a surprise for me.

On my walk back, although I was running a bit late, I felt a faint smile spread across my face. I didn't know what I would do without them, to be honest.

After the class, I headed straight to the apartment. I had gotten accustomed to carrying around an extra set of clothes, my psychiatric medications, and all the other essentials just in case I needed or wanted to crash at their place, which was happening quite frequently these days. It was a lot better than my lonely single dorm room, that was for sure.

As I unlocked the door with one of the spare keys Russel and Murdoc had left behind, a glorious aroma filled my nostrils. Noodle looked up from the couch where she had been browsing on her laptop, and smiled at me.

"Chicken Parmesan tonight," she announced, seeing my delighted face. 2D was lying on the floor dreamily coloring in a coloring book, and I had a feeling that he hadn't had anything to do with making dinner.

"It should be done in fifteen minutes," she continued.

"Smells great," I said with a smile as I sat down on the floor with 2D. I picked up a purple colored pencil and started coloring in the outline of a bird sitting on a tree branch.

"How did your class go?" he asked carefully.

"Shitty," I said weakly with something between a laugh and a whimper.

We continued coloring, and I began to relax into the comfort of this place which had begun to feel like home.

Suddenly, Noodle squealed happily as her computer started making a sound, and she told us that Russel was Skyping us.

We all squeezed around the computer and saw both of our friends' faces on the screen grinning at us.

We had a nice chat, and then Noodle rescued the chicken Parmesan from the oven before it was overcooked, and the three of us ate happily together. Then she turned on the music and we danced and danced until we were ready to go to sleep. As I lay in the bed that had been Russel's, I wondered what my friends had in store for me tomorrow. Smiling and closing my eyes, I snuggled into the blankets and drifted off to sleep.


	13. Chapter 13

As I opened my eyes the next morning, I happily noticed that this was one of those mornings where two of my best friends were in the next room over. I got out of bed, got dressed, and went to pee and brush my teeth.

On my way through the kitchen to the bathroom, Noodle stopped me in my tracks.

"You know, I would wear something else today if I were you."

Looking down at my flannel shirt and black jeans, I gave her a confused and slightly offended look. Suddenly, I noticed that she was wearing a loose tee shirt and cutoff shorts, with a bikini strap showing on her exposed shoulder.

"We're going on an adventure," she giggled, and went on to say, "not to mention it'll be quite warm today. I would tell you how warm but I don't know Fahrenheit-"

She was cut off by 2D coming out of the room, who burst out laughing.

"You're not going to the beach in that, love, are you?" Suddenly I remembered the mysterious adventure that they had planned for me, and started jumping up and down, excitedly exclaiming, "Are we going to the beach?!"

Noodle laughed and jumped with me just for fun for a moment before giving 2D a stern look and pouting, "You gave away the surprise."

He shrugged and we all laughed. As I continued getting ready for the day, I checked the weather and found that it was going to be in the upper seventies and sunny- unusually warm for late April in Boston but definitely acceptable beach weather.

After I had changed into more appropriate clothing for our day trip, we made some sandwiches and grabbed a few snacks to take with us, and eventually we left.

The three of us made our way happily to the subway station, and took the long ride to the ocean. When we finally got off the train, we raced to the water and spread out our towels on the sand.

Shivering a little at the cool sea breeze, I said, "You know, the water is going to be freezing."

Noodle grinned from ear to ear and said, "Of course. That's the fun part." As 2D nervously fidgeted with the corner of his towel at the prospect of swimming in cold water, and probably the highly unlikely chance of encountering a whale, Noodle smirked.

"Just you wait, I'll get him in the water eventually," she said mischievously to me, as she patted him on his blue head with a mocking satisfaction.

Noodle took it upon herself to put sunscreen on both of our backs, laughing lovingly at our pale complexions. She grudgingly let me return the favor, while grumbling about how she doesn't burn anyways.

She donned her red, heart shaped sunglasses, and lied down on her back in between us. We sat watching children playing in the sand and seagulls looking to steal food for a while, and quietly and simply enjoyed each other's company.

Eventually, as the day grew warmer, Noodle decided it was time to test the water.

Throwing off her shirt and shorts, she said impatiently, "Let's go!"

With a bit of self-consciousness, I did the same and the adrenaline of anticipation finally got me assisting her in forcing 2D off his towel and out of his shirt. We both grabbed his hands and dragged him to the edge of the water.

2D and I hesitated for a moment as Noodle charged fearlessly into the waves, causing him and I to face plant on the wet sand by the water's edge. Noodle laughed hysterically at this, and with her hair blowing wildly in the wind, she splashed us playfully with the icy water.

"Come on," she whined, "It's great!"

Empowered by her infectious energy, I got up and made my way gingerly into the water. Soon both of us were gleefully splashing 2D, who was still awkwardly standing ankle deep in the water, but eventually he gave in and joined us.

We swam around for a very short period of time, as even Noodle got cold after a while.

Shivering and giggling, we emerged from the water, and I couldn't help but feel a bit smug as other beach goers stared at us, looking impressed but probably questioning our sanity.

The sun felt amazing on my wet skin, which was now covered in goosebumps.

We chatted lightheartedly about various things for a while, until 2D asked if it was lunch time yet. His stomach was audibly growling, causing Noodle and I to laugh, and as I pulled the sandwiches out of my bag, she checked her phone, presumably to see what time it was.

"Oh no," she said softly with a slight tremble in her voice.

She showed her phone to 2D, whose face took on an expression of surprise and worry. I awkwardly waited for them to tell me what had happened until she handed the phone to me.

It was a text message from Russel: "Muds is in the ER. Was drunk at a bar and got into a fight with some random dudes. I wasn't there but he got beat up pretty bad apparently. They're doing X-rays now for broken bones but they already know he has a concussion. Idiot."

"Oh," I said as the news sunk in, suddenly making our day at the beach not so perfect after all. Not knowing what else to do, I passed out the sandwiches and we ate them in tense silence.

Eventually Noodle said, "Russel's right. Murdoc is such an idiot. He'll be fine, he always is. Maybe someday he'll learn his lesson and stop drinking so much and picking fights he can't win."

With a slight smile, 2D agreed. I wasn't sure how to react. They were much more accustomed to the kinds of trouble our bandmate got himself into though, so I figured that if they weren't worried I shouldn't be either.

Eventually, Noodle pulled her guitar out of its case. Not her best guitar- an old one that wouldn't mind a little sand. She strummed a chord and started singing a soft "ooh."

I joined in tentatively with a harmony, following along with her made up melody and the chords she was playing.

2D eventually chimed in with his heart wrenchingly beautiful falsetto, singing nonsensical syllables and words, making it up as he went along.

Soon a small crowd of people were gathered around listening, and I saw tears in a few of their eyes. Looking up at the late afternoon sun, I closed my eyes and felt as though if any of us knew how to pray for our friends who were so far away and possibly in danger, this would be what it would feel like. Opening my eyes, I saw the pinkish evening sky with seagulls flying across it, and I let a single tear fall down my cheek at the sheer beauty.

A/N Sorry for the long wait in between updates. Hopefully the length of this chapter made up for it. Please send me a review, I'd love to hear any thoughts or suggestions on where this story should go! I'm loving writing it, but hopefully we get some news as to where Phase 4 will go soon, because I'd love to make my story fit into the canon if I can. Right now in the story it's a bit of a bridge between phases I suppose. If all else fails it'll just be an AU... Thanks for reading anyways, I check the traffic stats every day and get so excited when I see that people are actually reading this! :D (And people from so many countries, wow!) Have a great day and thanks again!


	14. Chapter 14

The days and weeks were passing by so quickly, and with each moment I couldn't help but dread my return to Boston in the fall. I knew deep in my heart that the band wouldn't be physically there to support me, and although my boyfriend would be moving in with me, he would be the only person I could turn to in tough times.

Of course, final exams and projects were looming on the horizon, but to be honest I didn't really care. As my friend group at school gradually left me out more and more, and as I isolated myself from them, I sank deeper into my depression. I started to really hate playing music, because my lessons were so rough. Even playing with 2D and Noodle wasn't as fun as it used to be, as every time I sat at my harp I was reminded of the pain associated with my lessons.

I was really starting to miss Russel's quiet understanding and Murdoc's rare moments of tenderness. I often wondered how they were doing- if Murdoc was healing up from his fight and if he was getting on Russ's nerves yet. Frequently I attempted to send them a message or call them, but always backed out at the last moment out of shyness. We did have frequent Skype calls with the whole band though, which were comforting.

I didn't dare tell Noodle, but I was thinking about abandoning my plans to continue school. Of course, I had already put money into my new apartment, but I wasn't sure whether it mattered much to me. I couldn't even imagine breaking the news to my parents, though. I confided in Brandon that I was considering dropping out, and he didn't have much to say. His school situation was completely up in the air as well, so I guess he didn't feel like he was in a position to judge me.

One day, when the weather was particularly pleasant, 2D and I decided to go on a walk to the commons, leaving Noodle behind as she was immersed in writing a song and didn't seem to walk help or company.

Lying on the grass, we started our little ritual of looking at the clouds and daydreaming.

"See that?" he said, looking at the sky, "It's a butterfly."

"I don't know what I think of butterflies," I said thoughtfully. "I'm absolutely terrified of caterpillars, and the fact that butterflies used to be caterpillars still freaks me out a bit."

He looked at me funny and said, "I didn't know you were afraid of anything. You just always seemed so... brave."

I laughed. "I'm afraid of a lot of things," I said truthfully.

We laid there very still for a moment, and coincidentally enough a beautiful blue butterfly landed right on the tip of 2D's nose.

"You know, butterflies must be really brave," he said softly, trying not to scare his little friend away. "I heard somewhere that in their cocoons, they turn into a liquid before becoming a butterfly."

Fascinated, I watched the delicate creature gently moving its wings, as if it was showing off its vibrant colors in the sunlight.

"How do they know when to leave the cocoon? What if they decide to come out and they're still liquid? And then they die?" I wasn't really talking about insects anymore, and he seemed to start to realize this.

He rolled onto his side to look at me, and our friend fluttered down onto the grass between us. "They're just born knowing, I s'pose. I guess it's instinct or somefink like that. They just know."

I felt a tear drip from my eye, down my cheek, and onto the grass.

"I don't know," I said.

"What's on your mind?" he finally asked.

"I- I don't know if I want to go back to school next semester. But I'm terrified. What if I'm not ready? What if- what if I need to stay in the cocoon a little longer?"

"You see," he said, looking back at the sky, "that's the difference between butterflies and people. If you're a butterfly, there's no going back once you leave the cocoon. But if you're a person, you'll always get a second chance if you make a mistake."

After a thoughtful, quiet moment, I said, "You're a lot wiser than I thought you were before I met you."

He laughed. "I'm not wise. I just spend enough time daydreaming. Most people are too busy working their asses off to take a moment to actually think about life."

I gave him a smile. "I want to be just like you," I said, feeling a blush rising in my cheeks.

"Nah," he said with a chuckle, "don't do that. There's already a me. You should be you."

"Thanks," I said tentatively, "for everything."

We looked at the sky once more and I saw that the clouds had gradually cleared away, for the most part. I contemplated everything we had discussed, and although I didn't feel any closer to a decision, I felt a lot less anxious about the whole thing.

A/N Thanks for reading, as always, and please review! I love you all!


	15. Chapter 15

It was finally almost exam week, and I was sitting in one of my last art history lectures. I just couldn't focus- all I could think about was my summer ahead, and even more troublesome, my decision for the fall.

Lost in thought, I was surprised to feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. It was a text from Noodle:

"Murdoc called today- he's recovering pretty well from that stupid bar fight. He has his mind set on keeping you from going to school next fall, because he's starting to think the album wont be out until next year. Don't worry, I'll take care of it. I won't let him do that."

Internally groaning, I quickly hurried out of the class. I hesitated for a moment, then dialed Murdoc's number. It rang for a while, and I thought about hanging up, but soon it went to voicemail.

Hanging up quickly, I realized that I had no idea what I had been planning on saying anyways. I returned back to class, and to my daydreaming. I knew that Noodle didn't want me to drop out, but I wanted to hear Murdoc's side of the story too. 2D definitely wanted me to stay with the band, but his reasoning was based off of emotion, and Russ wouldn't give an opinion, so neither of them could really help me choose.

Eventually the class was over, and as I walked back to my dorm I got a call from Muds. Unfortunately, I soon discovered that he hadn't meant to call me, from the obvious sounds of physical intimacy. I smirked, hung up, and tried not to picture what was going on. I guess he was, in fact, recovering. Hoping that he would call me back when he was done- and simultaneously feeling twice as embarrassed about this upcoming conversation- I went to do some homework.

I didn't hear back from him until the next day. I had to rush out of a class to answer the phone, but it sounded like he had just woken up.

"Hey, what's up, love," he groaned sleepily.

"Hi," I said. An awkward silence ensued, until a high-pitched female voice on the other side of the line said sleepily, "Who are you talking to? That isn't your wife, is it? Girlfriend? Oh god..."

"Hell no.. She's my... sister," he said exasperatedly. I was a little bit embarrassed and flattered that he chose that word, even though it was probably just his way of best avoiding drama.

"Bullshit!" the woman screeched, and I heard some slamming of objects around until, eventually, I heard the unmistakable sound of a door being slammed shut.

"Sorry..." I said, not sure what else to say.

Surprisingly, he let out a laugh. "Didn't even know the bitch's name. Don't worry about it. What's up, kid?"

Feeling a bit more relaxed from the humorous situation, I said boldly, "Noodle told me you still want me to drop out of school."

He groaned. "Look, she thinks she knows what's best for you, but she doesn't. She's only a few years older than you! She doesn't know the business like I do. I've been around for a lot longer."

"Hey, calm down. I'm- I'm on your side."

"Y-you are?" he stuttered, sounding quite shocked.

"Well... I'm leaning that way right now."

Suddenly remembering I was basically skipping class for this conversation, I continued to say, "I'd like to pass this semester though, so can I call you back later? I should be in a class..."

He laughed. "Go on, make your teachers proud. Just remember... you're the boss of you. That's how I did it, and that's really the only way to do it."

Suddenly, the phone beeped, signaling that he had hung up, and with a confident smile on my face, I went back to class.

I went through my day happily, until I went to the apartment and, from Noodle's glare, I knew that she had spoken to Murdoc.

I uncomfortably went into my room and sat on one the beds and put my head in my hands. I liked Noodle- I really did- but I was getting really sick of her attitude. Of course, I was aware that I had rarely found close friendships with girls in my lifetime, so maybe that was part of this feeling of dread and awkwardness. I didn't quite know what to think of this particular situation, though.

Eventually I heard 2D come in to the apartment, and Noodle started whispering something to him. She was too quiet for me to make out the words, but I could hear the intensity of her emotion.

I don't know what 2D said to her, but soon she came into my room and said bluntly, "I'm going to try to stay out of it from now on." He gave her a stern look and she swallowed her pride and continued, "And I'm sorry for being so pushy." I nodded with approval, but 2D gave her another look.

"Do I have to?" she whined. He smiled, grabbed her arms, and forced them around me into an awkward group hug.

"All better," he said proudly, and Noodle shyly looked down at her striped socks.

I suddenly burst out laughing, and they both looked at me, confused. "You guys are weird," I said teasingly, and they started giggling a little bit too.

On a more serious note, I said, "All four of you care about me, in your own different ways, and even though you don't always agree on how to do it, I really appreciate it."

"That's because we love you," 2D said, and Noodle nodded passionately in agreement. I was lost for words.

"I-" I stuttered.

"We know," he said, with that toothless, goofy grin of his, and I smiled at both of them.

"Thanks," I said softly, and took a moment to just appreciate the special feeling that was warming my heart. I forgot, for that moment, about all the worries and difficulties. I felt like I belonged, and that was enough.

A/N Hi folks, thanks for reading another chapter! This story is so much fun to write and I haven't gotten anything but support from you guys. Thanks. I was terrified of writing and posting a story online, but it's been a great experience so far and I highly recommend it.


	16. Chapter 16

Exam stress was bearing down upon me, but that was the least of my worries. My mental health was in a horrible place. After an increase in medication, I spontaneously decided to dye my hair pinkish purple, had a sleepless night, and ran for an hour the next day at the crack of dawn.

Later that day, after a nap and some coffee, I still felt like shit. I was starting to recognize that I was coming down with a cold, and I could barely walk from exhaustion and the after-effects of the intense exercise that morning.

Meeting up with Noodle and 2D for dinner, they went crazy over my hair, as I had chosen to let it be a surprise. They loved it- and honestly, it made me feel very happy as well, in a time where happiness was rare for me. I found myself often bringing a strand of it in front of my eyes so I could admire it.

Soon Noodle noticed something was off though, as I was staring off into space, dozing off.

"Are you okay?" she asked with concern.

"No, yeah, I'm just sick and I didn't sleep a whole lot," I said, not feeling like delving into the whole story of how my medication change had caused me to stay up all night. I didn't mind talking about my mental illnesses, but I just didn't feel like starting a conversation about it at the moment.

As we left the restaurant, 2D gave me a warm hug and said softly, "Hope you feel better... I'm here if you need it." I was a bit surprised at his remark, and wondered how much he had perceived about my situation. Noodle grabbed my hand and insisted on walking me back to my dorm, as I looked "like I would pass out any second," as she put it.

2D ended up coming along as well, and I awkwardly stayed silent, knowing that they were both probably wondering what was going on but holding themselves back from asking probing questions. Eventually I did start to feel quite dizzy, and they supported me up the stairs and to my room.

Collapsing onto the bed after they left, I realized I had homework to do and groaned. I suddenly felt incredibly lonely. I thought of Russel and Murdoc, and wondered how they were doing. I sent a brief message to Russel saying hello to the both of them. As I waited for a response, I started drifting off to sleep.

Next thing I knew, it was morning and I was almost late to class. As I rushed there, I saw that Russel had responded: "Noodle said you haven't been sleeping good- everything alright?"

Feeling a bit frustrated that she had told them, I sighed and responded: "Everything's good." To lighten the mood, I sent a selfie of my new hair, and he and apparently Muds too loved it. Smiling, I made my way into the classroom and proceeded with my day.

As the semester came closer and closer to its end, I felt my mental health improve. My bandmates were always very supportive when I needed them, which was a type of friendship I had never experienced to this degree. I wished I could do something to make it up to them, though. It didn't seem fair that they did so much for me, and I barely did anything in return.

Secretly I brainstormed- in classes, walking down the street, lying in bed. Once the band was reunited for the summer, I wanted to do something special for all of them. But I didn't know what. I had never really done this sort of thing before. Being nice to people. Having friends. It was very frustrating trying to come up with an idea.

Eventually, while 2D and I were looking at the clouds in the park as we did often, I decided it would be a good time to dig around for some ideas. Desperately looking for a cloud-shape that could help me smoothly bring up the topic, I was jolted out of my reverie as he started talking.

"Do you ever get homesick for a time? I don't mean nostalgia. That's just not what it is... It's homesickness. Missing being in a moment- the place, the people, the smells and sounds and the sensations."

I frowned and looked at him. "Yeah, I know what you mean. But what made you think of it?"

He smiled sadly. "I don't know," he said, "It's just a thought that came into my head. Sometimes thoughts just do that."

"There must be a solution," I mumbled, simultaneously trying to work out both puzzles at once.

"No," he said, but he didn't sound unhappy with the answer- just content. Just stating a fact. I suddenly had an idea. Well, the beginnings of an idea. If there was no way to bring back the past, I would have to help them create new moments to cherish. I needed to do something that would, for a moment, make them less homesick- to make them feel at home.

I suddenly realized the selfishness and pointlessness of this idea, as good memories would only create more future pain. 2D must have seen the dismay in my face, because he began to talk again.

"You're thinking," he stated simply. Not questioning what I was thinking about, just making an observation. I smiled and felt a wave of respect and affection for this wise, thoughtful person who I was lucky enough to be sitting next to. I looked into his deep eyes and nodded silently.

Eventually, after sitting in contemplative and companionable silence for a while, we headed back to meet up with Noodle for dinner, and I suddenly felt that same homesickness he had been referring to. This exact moment would never come back. Starting to really think about it, I realized that I disagreed with 2D. There had to be a cure. I just needed to look harder. There was always a solution.

Later that night, I lay in bed at the Gorillaz apartment, now faced with yet another riddle to unravel. I wanted to do something special for the band, and I wanted to cure this homesickness for the past. There had to be a connection. I believed that it was no coincidence that 2D had this thought pop up in his head at the exact moment it did.

"There must be a link somewhere..." I muttered aloud. Looking around the room, I saw a framed picture of the band; by the looks of it, it was from around the time their first album came out. With a pang of jealousy, I realized that I had missed out on so much time with them.

I soon started thinking of my own memories, the good and the bad. And especially the ones that were simultaneously both good and bad. I noticed that most of them were both. Or were they? It was impossible to tell. They say hindsight is 20/20, but what if it's all just a lie? What if the present moment is the only time you know the real truth?

Eventually, worn out by all the thinking, I let sleep take over. I dreamed of an old ex, and, although I quickly realized I was dreaming, I continued to feel love for him. I knew that in real life he was not right for me, but in the dream I was in the past. It was the oddest sensation, but I had felt it many times before in lucid dreams, so I let it happen.

Then my bandmates unexpectedly showed up, twisting the dream out of its ordinary pattern and bringing it into the present. Noodle shouted something angrily at him, I couldn't remember what, and Murdoc grabbed his throat.

"Wait," Brandon cried out, appearing onto the scene out of nowhere. "Just let go." He wasn't talking to Murdoc. He was talking to me. "Let go, Evelyn, let go, let go..." Everyone else faded away, and eventually even Brandon was gone except for his voice saying "Let go."

I was awoken abruptly by a high pitched noise, followed by a string of curses let out by a very angry Noodle. Coming to my senses, I realized that the smoke detector was going off, and although it reminded me painfully of Russel's flawless breakfasts and the time when it was the five of us, I felt relieved to be out of that dream.

After the smoke detector had stopped, I heard 2D humming outside the door. Smiling, I let the contrastingly beautiful sound soothe me and, taking the advice of my dream, I tried to let go of the turmoil inside my head.


	17. Chapter 17

So I was almost done with classes, just one more presentation and I would be free. In between all my finals, I managed to buy some rollerblades, which my mom graciously paid for as an early birthday present. I was actually quite sad as my friends gradually went off to have their own summer adventures, as I had finally just started figuring out their personalities and boundaries.

When I got sad, I just thought of the summer ahead. I had no clue really what was in store for me. But I felt safe. I don't know how many people would feel safe with Murdoc basically dictating what the next few months of their life would be like, but I really trusted him, as I did all of my bandmates.

Finally, my parents came to pick up most of my stuff, and I could see the worry in their eyes. They insisted on meeting my friends who I was spending the summer with, but I didn't want to shock them, as I was pretty sure they knew who Gorillaz was and would recognize them if they saw them. I made up some petty excuse, and we exchanged hugs and goodbyes without them.

It hurt. It really hurt. I had made my choice though, and there was no turning back. I decided to go on a walk by the Charles River, and as I did I pulled out my phone. My first instinct was to call my dad, but he was driving, and I didn't really feel comfortable telling him what was going on yet. I decided to give Murdoc a call. I didn't really know why- he just seemed like the right person for the mood I was in.

"What's up, kid?" he said in his usual, laid-back manner.

"I- I just wanted to check in and see how things were going with you guys."

"No you didn't," he replied with a bit of an attitude and a bit of concern. Biting my tongue, I realized that the tremble in my voice had given away my mood.

"Okay, you're right," I said with some annoyance and yet a great deal of respect and surprise at his ability to read my emotions from across an entire ocean.

"This summer," he said, "is going to be bloody amazing, and you don't have to worry about a thing. I have it all planned out. You guys are hopping on the plane tonight and then we'll all be together and we're going to make the best album Gorillaz has put out yet. You're a brave kid, you can do it, and you're the key to making this album spectacular."

I was quite taken aback by this display of emotion, and as the tears rolled down my cheeks, or maybe they were raindrops, I nodded, forgetting that he couldn't see me.

"Murdoc, what's the matter with you? You look… slightly human," I heard Russel's voice poking fun at him in the background as a door slammed shut on their side of the phone. I smiled.

"Oh shut up," he retorted angrily.

"You on the phone with Evelyn?" he asked, ignoring his request.

Then, after some scuffling noises, "Hey," Russ's voice boomed over the phone, making me jump a little.

"Hey, just seeing how things are going with you guys," I said casually. He laughed.

"We got your back, you know," he said gently, "In less than twenty-four hours we'll all be together, the five of us, and everything will be good."

"I- I don't know what to say. You're all so good to me, I just- thanks," I said, embarrassed and stumbling over my words.

"You know these international phone calls aren't cheap," he reminded me, and I cringed at the thought.

"You're right, I should- I should go. See you soon!"

"Take care," he said, and I heard Murdoc in the background shout, "Bye!"

I hung up and slowly walked back to the apartment where I had brought my luggage for the summer and my harp.

"Oh, good, you're here," Noodle said, "Your harp case just got here. It was a close call but it made it in time."

With confusion, I noticed a beautiful, shiny white flight case standing in the center of the room. I had completely forgotten- I would need a hard case to travel with my harp on a plane.

"I did some research, and the whole band chipped in to get it. We figured you were so busy with exams you would forget," she said proudly, with a big smile that lit up the room.

"Thank you!" I exclaimed, giving her a fierce hug that Russel would be proud of.

I swiftly and excitedly put my harp inside and noticed that it fit just perfectly.

"Where's 2D?" I asked eventually, after admiring the perfect fit for a moment.

She stomped over to their room and banged on the door.

"Just a moment…" he said, his voice muffled by the walls.

After a minute of confusion as Noodle rolled her eyes and smiled, he emerged, holding a shoebox.

He handed it to me, and opening it up, I saw that it was filled with stickers.

"Every musician needs stickers for their case," he explained, looking shyly down at his bare feet.

Looking through them, I saw a mixture of things that 2D was into, like zombie movies and just odd things, and also some that he had obviously picked out just for me, like a harp- that must have been hard to find- and a Berklee sticker. Right at the bottom, I found a Gorillaz sticker with the original logo from Phase 1, and next to it a very special one, which I don't even know where he might have found it.

It was in the shape of a cloud, and it said on it, "Follow your dreams." I felt tears in my eyes as I saw this, and I looked up at him. He smiled nervously, and I smiled back. I could see him starting to cry a little as well, and I wrapped my arms around him, resting my head on his chest.

"Thank you," I said.

He took the cloud sticker from me, and gently peeling the backing off, asked where it should go. I pointed to the highest, most prominent part of the case, and he smoothly pressed it on.

Noodle looked slightly confused, and 2D and I sort of just smiled at each other and laughed. Nobody knew about our little ritual of looking at the clouds, and honestly, it felt somehow too personal to share. Besides, sharing a secret with someone special just makes you feel so warm and happy inside.

We put the Gorillaz sticker on the other side of the case in a similar spot, and then gradually decorated it with the rest. There was still room for plenty more, but it didn't look so bare now.

I suddenly realized that I now had an extra soft case that I didn't exactly need on our trip, so Noodle volunteered to take it to the post office and attempt to cram it into a box to send home to my parents. Meanwhile, 2D and I worked on packing up his and Noodle's things. I couldn't help but marvel at the way he handled her clothes and belongings, as if a pair of socks was the most treasured thing in the universe. I felt a vague pang of jealousy, but remembering his sweet gesture earlier, I let the feeling slip away.

I felt a lot more cheerful than before, and after Noodle was back and we were all packed up, we turned on some music and sang and danced around as we waited for the time to come that we would be heading to the airport.

Eventually, out of breath, Noodle checked the time and, swearing, turned off the music, crammed the stereo system in a suitcase, and we hurriedly set off on our adventure. We had a lot of stuff to take with us, but we had already shipped some of the equipment to Russel and Murdoc's hotel, so that lightened our load a little bit.

Outside the airport, I was greeted by yet another surprise. Brandon had driven all the way to Boston just to say goodbye. He spun me around, kissed me, and we exchanged sweet words while 2D and Noodle awkwardly stood by. Eventually, Noodle caught my eye and I knew it was time to go.

"I love you," I said.

"I love you too. I trust them. They'll take good care of you. And I'm only a phone call away. If you need to come back at any time you can. Or I can go there. Whatever works."

Looking back as we walked away, I felt the past slip out from under my feet and the adventure to come filling me with adrenaline.

When we were finally on the plane, I plugged in my headphones, closed my eyes, and let Damon Albarn's song Heavy Seas of Love fill my soul with hope and excitement as the plane took off and we were finally in the air.


	18. Chapter 18

I spent the night on the plane by the window, with Noodle next to me and 2D on the aisle side of our row. I never sleep on planes. So as Noodle curled up comfortably after our dinner was finished, and 2D immediately drifted off, I was left to think. But I didn't want to think.

So I pulled out my favorite book, Wuthering Heights, and started to read. It was the fourth time I'd read this book, but I could never get enough of Cathy and Heathcliff's tragic love story. Letting myself get caught up in the familiar plotline and words, I was startled when Noodle, whose head had been leaning on 2D's shoulder as she slept soundly, shifted and rested it on mine.

Slowly accepting the unfamiliar feeling of being used as a pillow, I went back to my book for a while, but eventually she started trembling and shaking. Eventually she was whimpering aloud and I was genuinely afraid. Looking to 2D, I saw that he was completely unconscious, probably knocked out by all the painkillers he had taken earlier.

"Hey- hey Noodle," I said, unsure of what to do, shaking her a little bit to try to wake her up. This only seemed to make things worse as she cried out as if in pain. 2D didn't budge, and I knew I would have to do something.

I uncertainly and awkwardly stroked her hair and rubbed her back, as Brandon always did for me when I was having nightmares or panic attacks. Slowly her breathing went back to normal, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

I went back to my book and things were normal for a while. Eventually, even I drifted off a little bit. I didn't realize it until a high pitched scream awoke me. My eyes snapped open, and Noodle was shaking violently and sweating in her sleep. In a drowsy daze, I did the only thing I could think to do, and slapped her in the face.

Her eyes opened wide, and she didn't seem to know where she was. For a minute she tried to fight back as I restrained her, and the other passengers had started to wake up and talk quietly among themselves, probably about us. 2D remained asleep, and I started to panic, not sure what to do.

Eventually a flight attendant came over, probably summoned by either a concerned or annoyed passenger, and she looked down at us with a questioning look.

"Is everything alright here?" she asked authoritatively.

"I think she had a nightmare or something like that," I said, my voice trembling with fear and anxiety.

"Okay, I'll be just over there if you need anything," she said kindly, pointing down the aisle, "I can get some water for you ladies if you want."

"Thanks, but I think we're all set, " I said, and after she left, Noodle seemed to come back to her senses.

"Oh my god…" she mumbled, slumping down in her seat after the rigid, panicked posture she had been holding herself in before. She was clearly embarrassed, and I averted my eyes, trying not to intrude. I knew she was an independent spirit, and if she wanted to talk about it she would do so in her own time.

I stared down at my book, not reading, but hiding. The anxiety for the summer ahead started to come back and I realized that I had always looked up to Noodle- she was so strong and fearless- and she had just had a moment of incredible vulnerability. If even she could experience pain and terror, I didn't know how I could handle anything.

I realized that I was working my anxiety up by overthinking, probably because of the lack of sleep. Looking at the flight map, I saw that we were only about halfway there. With an internal groan, I looked sideways at Noodle and saw her staring into space with a look of sheer terror on her face. She noticed me looking at her and seemed to shrink into herself a little bit, and glared at me angrily, but I knew she wasn't really mad. It still hurt though.

I closed my eyes, leaned uncomfortably against the window, and pretended to sleep. I really wanted to talk to Russel. He would know what to do. He always knew what to do. I put on my headphones and listened to some music to soothe me and keep me company, but I still felt very anxious. I was ridiculously jealous of 2D for being able to sleep through all this, and with a pang of guilt, I realized I was rather angry at Noodle.

I must have fallen asleep or something, because the next time I checked the flight map, we were almost to England. I looked out the window and saw a hint of sunlight lighting up the clouds. This was my favorite part of flying. I quietly enjoyed the sunrise from my seat up high in the sky, and forgot about the troubles of the night. I felt Noodle's head fall on my shoulder again, and I knew she was sleeping peacefully now.

Eventually the lights came on in the plane, and flight attendants came around offering tea, coffee, and croissants. As the only one of us that was awake I quietly declined, not wanting to wake my friends, although I really would have appreciated some food and caffeine at that moment.

Finally 2D stirred, and with a big yawn, stretched and unintentionally hit Noodle right on her head with his long arms. I giggled, and she immediately woke up and glared at him. I bit my lip, wondering how much she remembered from the night. 2D cluelessly asked us both how we slept, with a big smile.

"Fine," we said emotionlessly in unison. He gave us a questioning look but didn't say anything about it.

Eventually we were flying over land, and I looked down to see neat little fields outlined by walls. Then eventually, we began to descend in London. I cringed as 2D held his breath, gripping the barf bag tightly, but to my relief he didn't need to use it.

After we went through security, Murdoc and Russel were waiting for us. Noodle ran to Russel and gave him a hug. Murdoc awkwardly accepted a hug from me, and 2D stood by grinning his toothless grin, enjoying our reunion.

Eventually we headed outside, and, to our surprise, we saw the Geep standing proudly in the parking lot.

"We recovered it from Kong Studios," Murdoc explained, and Noodle squealed with joy and hugged him tightly. We loaded up all our luggage and my harp, which had thankfully made the journey safely. It was a tight fit, but after a night on an airplane, it was nice to get some fresh air for a change.

We arrived at a hotel, and and we all managed to bring our things in on one trip, mostly because of Russel's strength and size. We found ourselves in a large suite room, which was quite messy. I smiled to myself; wherever Gorillaz went, they took their whole essence with them. I had noticed this long ago as a fan, and I was finally seeing it firsthand as a friend.

I noticed a few people I didn't know in one corner of the suite, and Murdoc quickly introduced us to them. I shyly hid behind him a little bit as we shook hands and let him correct their pronunciation of my name, for which I was very grateful.

They insisted on hearing me play, so I nervously got out my harp and sat down. I started playing a piece I had learned for an exam, because it was all I had been practicing really, but quickly realized that my harp was horrendously out of tune. After tuning, I shakily began the piece again, but Murdoc stopped me.

"Aw come on, you can do better than that, play something of your own," he said fiercely. I couldn't help but smile. He was absolutely right, and I felt my confidence rise.

Tilting my head to the side, I switched into G minor and started to improvise on a vamp I had been working on with the band in my free time before exams had taken over my life. I lost myself in the music and enjoyed it, and before I knew it, they were joining in, and I was singing, and I felt so free.

A/N Just had my last class of the semester and I don't have a summer job, so I guess that means more frequent/longer chapters! Yay! Okay, since we've gotten this far, I'll admit that up until now this story has followed very closely to my life. Yes, I'm Evelyn, I play the harp, I go to Berklee. Hey, it was an easy way to ease myself into writing my first story, as I've done a lot of journaling but basically no fiction until now. But this is where the story really takes off. It's time for my Gorillaz adventure to really begin. I can't wait! Hold on to your seats, because it's going to be a wild ride!


	19. Chapter 19

The next morning, I woke up with a pounding headache. Slowly I started to recall what had happened; I had hung out with Gorillaz and the other collaborators all day, and although the intention was to work on music, we ended up just having a good time and getting pretty drunk that evening after our other friends left.

I got out of bed, got dressed, and went out to see who else was up. The clock on my nightstand said it was 10:30.

Tiptoeing past a snoring Murdoc draped carelessly over the couch, I stopped in my tracks when I heard some whispering coming from kitchenette area, and a light sniffling sound. It was rather dark as the drapes were shutting out most light, but I ducked behind the couch to keep my presence a secret, nervous and curious as to what sort of interaction I was intruding upon.

"Hey, if there's anything I can do-" Russel's voice, unmistakeable even in a whisper, said.

"No! I mean… thank you, I just..." Noodle started intensely and then trailed off into a whimper. "I just don't know why the nightmares came back all of a sudden, I was fine for, goddamn, I don't even know how many years, and then all of a sudden, two nights in a row…"

"Don't worry too much about it," Russel said softly.

"I'll try not to," she said.

They went on to talk about mundane things, and I found myself dozing off a bit, leaning against the back of the couch. Next thing I knew, I was awoken by a loud creaking and a groan as Murdoc got up.

Remembering that I had been eavesdropping, my eyes went wide as I wondered how I could stand up without revealing that I had been listening, especially with another person awake. I soon recognized that 2D was rambling about something to the others, and I felt my chest constrict as I realized that I would have to give up my hiding spot sooner or later.

"Is Evelyn still sleeping?" Murdoc finally asked with a wide yawn, and my heart warmed at the question, although it simultaneously made me quite nervous.

Someone must have nodded, because he said, "I hope she's okay… you know, she was pretty drunk, and she's so young, and little." I had to suppress a giggle.

"Go check on her if you want," Noodle said lazily, and my heart skipped a beat with fear.

"Nah," Russel said, to my great relief, "let her have some rest."

They continued chatting and I wanted to go join them but the longer I hid, the more awkward it got. I was so afraid especially that Noodle would be angry, because I had been listening to a rather private conversation and she did have quite a temper when it came to these things.

Eventually I couldn't stand it anymore, and started idly scheming ways to distract them so I could sneak back to my room. Most of my ideas were absolutely ridiculous though, so I hugged my knees and waited for their inevitable discovery of my location.

However, it never came. Eventually they left to go do something or another, and I was left alone, hurt that they never even bothered to see if I was there.

Angry at them and at myself, I went out on the balcony and lit up a cigarette. I had never smoked before I started hanging out with the band, but 2D had quickly gotten me into the habit.

Looking out at the spectacular view of London, I let the nicotine do its thing. Then I went back inside and drank some cold, leftover coffee. It tasted horrible, but it helped with the hangover and the bad mood.

Eventually they came back to find me on the couch, reading yesterday's paper which Murdoc had conveniently left on the floor. I didn't look up when they came in.

"Good morning, sleepyhead," 2D said affectionately, ruffling my hair, and a feeling of guilt washed over me. I forced a smile, and no one knew.

They spent the remainder of the day showing me around the city, and I was overjoyed at all the non-American quirks. We had a great time, but the guilt was hanging over my head all day.

Eventually, I couldn't stand it anymore, and the second I got a moment alone with 2D, I let the words come out.

"I was eavesdropping on Noodle and Russel this morning and I hid behind the couch for hours and I feel like shit for it," I blurted out, quickly and in a hushed voice.

To my surprise, he laughed. Seeing how hurt I looked at this, he quickly put on a straight face and put a hand tenderly on my shoulder.

"She's been having nightmares," I said, figuring the damage had already been done. Now he looked a little bit surprised and concerned.

"Oh," he said, "Sometimes she does. She's been through a lot. Just… I don't think she would like it if she knew you knew, so maybe, just stay quiet about it for a while?"

I cringed and said simply, "Plane ride. You were totally out but she was screaming and everything. She knows I know." His face fell. I suddenly felt very angry. She talked to Russel. 2D knew about it, obviously. Murdoc probably knew too. It was just a painful reminder that I was still an outsider, that she didn't want to share her weakness with me.

Suddenly, the other three returned from the shop they had gone into while 2D and I had been waiting outside, and the conversation was abruptly forced to an end.

That night, I went straight to my room, not feeling very social. Hearing the happy voices outside my door, I felt like absolute shit. Here I was, turning someone else's problem into a reason for me to sulk, like always. I was such a hypocrite. I lied in my bed and let the tears fall.

As I heard them start to play music, I put my head under my pillow, trying to block out the hideous noise which had once been so beautiful but which loneliness had turned ugly.


	20. Chapter 20

The days passed drearily by, and I couldn't help but feel tension within the band, especially between myself and Noodle. Often I would lock myself in my room for hours simply to be alone. I even felt myself drifting apart from 2D, and I couldn't even muster up the strength to change things back to how they used to be.

I grew horribly homesick, but avoided contacting my friends and family back at home because I didn't want to pretend to be happy. I didn't even want to play my harp anymore. It wasn't me anymore; it was just a thing that people defined me by, that they used me for and took advantage of me for.

One day, I snagged one of 2D's MIDI keyboards while he was taking a nap, as I had left my own at home. Plugging it into my laptop, I opened up a new document in Protools.

Remembering a chord progression I had made up back in Boston messing around on Noodle's guitar before we had grown apart, I started carefully choosing some sounds and making a song.

Suddenly, I looked at the time and realized it had been quite a few hours since I had started. I felt my stomach growl with hunger, but I ignored it and kept furiously working.

Finally I had finished an electronic track, and not feeling like leaving my room and talking to anyone I quickly emailed it to Murdoc and then snapped my laptop shut.

Sighing in a strange mixture of frustration and satisfaction, I curled up on the unmade bed, pulled a throw blanket over me, and fell asleep almost immediately.

When I woke up, I didn't know what day it was. It was now dark out, and I could hear voices outside my door.

"Let's get going," Noodle was saying impatiently.

"Wait-" Russel interrupted, "Where's Evelyn? I haven't seen her at all today."

I heard a loud groan and Noodle said bitterly, "Whatever. If she doesn't want to have dinner with us she doesn't have to. I don't care if she comes or not, she's just another poor asshole you've dragged into our life just to get rid of her sooner or later, I don't give a damn about that kid."

"So you just want her to skip another meal? I don't remember seeing her eat more than a snack in days." Russel pointed out with more than a hint of annoyance in his voice.

I bit my lip. Here I was, eavesdropping again. I threw on some headphones and turned the music up loud. Soon, the door burst open. Taking off my headphones and looking up, I saw Murdoc at the door, and he told me he'd been knocking for ages.

"We're grabbing a bite to eat, and you're coming with us," he said authoritatively.

Here I lost my temper. "I don't want to go out with people that don't even want me there," I snapped back angrily.

2D peered into the room nervously as I raised my voice, and Murdoc shut the door in his face, telling him to sod off.

He sat down beside me on the bed and said in an uncharacteristically gentle tone, "Why would you think that?"

I rolled my eyes as my blood came to a boil and my hands balled into fists. "I heard what that bitch was saying. I know how it is," I yelled angrily, "I don't want to be here anymore-" I whimpered as tears started stinging in my eyes trying to escape.

He sighed deeply and averted his eyes to the floor. We sat quietly for a moment.

"I listened to that track you sent me," he said eventually. "And it was bloody brilliant. I don't give a rat's ass about any of those idiots, but I want you here. But I'm not going to stick up for you. That's your job. Next time they treat you like shit, you fight back, okay? You deserve to be here as much as anyone else."

He stood up abruptly and walked to the door. Grabbing the handle, he looked back. "You coming or not?" he said with a hint of a smirk at the corners of his lips, raising his eyebrows.

Setting my jaw determinedly, and quickly and unapologetically wiping the tears from my face, I strutted out of the room and, with a cold glance at Noodle, grabbed my jacket and shoes and was the first one out the door.

Dinner wasn't exactly pleasant, but I kept my head held high and didn't let my emotions take over. I didn't speak much, but Murdoc didn't either, and Russel was his usual quiet self as well. 2D shot me a few concerned looks as he and Noodle chatted about something pointless, but didn't seem to know what to say as he obviously didn't want to take a side.

On the walk back, Murdoc and I were noticeably more drunk than the others and lagged behind. He started catcalling some young women in miniskirts and heels, and I punched him hard across the face.

"Stupid-" smack- "Goddamn" smack- "Bastard!" I slurred loudly. I noticed that his lip was bleeding and in horror I started to cry. He laughed as he touched the wound and saw the blood on his fingers.

"You've got some spunk in you, kid," he slurred and I shakily laughed too. When we made it back to our place, we stayed up late in the living room area coming up with absurd concepts for the album, and writing some nonsensical lyrics to go with the track I had made earlier.

I woke up in the morning, with him snoring on the floor, and myself on the couch tucked carefully under some blankets which I had not put there. Noodle was making coffee and, giving me a disapproving look, didn't offer me any. Russel was kind enough to bring me a cup, but didn't say anything to me.

Eventually 2D got up and joined me on the couch as we ate breakfast in awkward silence. My hands were shaking out of anxiety, and 2D wrapped his around mine to hold them still but quickly and awkwardly let go as Noodle glared at him with fire in her eyes.

I soon retreated wordlessly to my room to read a book and get away from this hell.

A/N 20 chapters in, woohoo! Thank you for reading and reviewing, my wonderful friends of the Internet. Sorry for the angstyness, I do love Noodle but we all know that we don't get along with the people we love 100% of the time. Spoiler alert: we'll work it out eventually :) and another secret, I have no clue where this story is going xD but people seem to like it and I'm really enjoying escaping to my Gorillaz universe once in a while, so I'll keep writing and writing indefinitely. Love you all!


	21. Chapter 21

The next month or so the tension started to dissipate, but I was growing more and more homesick. The worst part was the lack of privacy. There was always a time in the afternoon and evening when I just wanted to be alone, but even in my room there was too much noise outside, no matter how loud I turned my headphones.

There were some good moments. Noodle was starting to warm up to me, and we even went clothes shopping a couple times. We were careful around each other, but some feminine company was appreciated by both of us. I had some fun times coming up with new concepts for songs with Murdoc with 2D dreamily sitting nearby, occasionally saying something absolutely genius. Russel seemed to understand my need to be alone, and sometimes would go on walks with me just to be quiet for a while.

It was getting a little bit better but my depression and anxiety were getting worse. I tried not to show my feelings, as they gave me a sense of isolation and a paranoia that the others would not really care. I knew it wasn't true, but I couldn't bring myself to be honest. It gave me a strange feeling of superiority to be keeping the secret of my misery.

One day when the others were out doing something or another, I was playing my harp. It felt pretty good. I hadn't had a chance to play alone in a while, and I delighted in the opportunity.

Suddenly, I heard the key turning in the lock and I quickly stopped and hid behind a book.

"When are we going?" Noodle was saying. I wanted to look up but I kept my eyes carefully glued to the page, hiding as always.

"Tomorrow, I told you a thousand times," Murdoc said exasperatedly, to which Noodle responding to by playfully calling him some crude names and punching him lightly on the shoulder.

Wondering vaguely what they were talking about, I started to read the book I had opened to a random page, and was distracted until I felt the weight of someone sitting by me. I looked up to see 2D, and after awkwardly saying hello, I decided to pretend to be engrossed in the book I was reading. He draped an arm over my shoulder and asked what it was.

"Um..." I said, not having the slightest clue. I was feeling really anxious from the sound of Murdoc and Noodle bantering in the kitchen, especially after the hour of solitude and quiet I had just enjoyed.

Russel sat down in an armchair and leaned in, saying in an undertone, "You guys should be packing to go, you're the only ones who haven't yet."

2D shrugged and kept playing some game on his phone. I sat like a statue, staring at the rug and caught between asking what the hell they were all talking about and the anxiety that kept my mouth shut. My hands started shaking, and I clenched them into fists in my lap.

I didn't dare make eye contact. Instead, I mumbled something about needing to hang up a wet towel I had forgotten on my bed and went to my room. Honestly, I don't think he was fooled, as I hadn't been motivated to shower in quite a few days and my hair was starting to give away that fact.

I lied in my bed listening to some music for a while until it was quiet out there. Treading softly, I left my room to see only Murdoc, who was playing his bass lazily in the corner beside a bottle of beer.

Nonchalantly, I went to get a glass of water, looking everywhere for clues as to where we were going tomorrow. I wanted so badly to ask, but I felt like it was my fault for not paying attention, or like they had hidden it from me intentionally. I didn't see anything that led to an answer, so I got out some leftover pizza and put it in the microwave. Eating as slowly as I could, I finally glanced at Murdoc to see that he had fallen asleep right in his chair. Noticing his phone nestled in his limp hand, I was filled with adrenaline as I came up with a crazy, stupid plan.

I carefully went over to him, reached for his phone and slid it smoothly from his loose grasp. His eyes fluttered as he mumbled something unintelligible, and I froze until he was resting soundly again. With a slight feeling of guilt, I went on to his unlocked phone and looked through his messages. There were lots of gross conversations with random girls, some communication with collaborators, and a few that I couldn't figure out at all.

Finally, I struck gold. I saw someone by the name of Jake, and it said something about us coming to a town or city I hadn't heard of, to use his recording studio. I swiftly copied and pasted the conversation and sent it to myself, and after quickly deleting the evidence from his phone I slowly placed it in his lap and scurried off to my room to read the messages by myself.

After learning that we would be recording at Jake's house for the next few months, I felt a mixture of feelings. Panic, because I had not expected this to happen, guilt for obtaining the knowledge in such a shameful way, and frustration at myself and the others for this situation where I was so out of the loop that I had not even known about this plan.

It was late, but I started shoving my few belongings into my bags. After that, I tried to sleep but I had some terrible dreams and woke at 4:30. Lying in bed as the sky began to brighten, I felt a sense of dread. I sort of wanted to go home.

That morning I made the coffee, not wanting to wait for the others. Murdoc was still asleep on the chair with his bass, and he had knocked his beer over. Feeling bad for what I did and having nothing else to do, I cleaned up the mess on the carpet.

Eventually, the others woke up and we left with all our belongings. We loaded it all into the Geep and drove for two or three hours into the countryside. I was feeling okay but numb.

We arrived and settled in. Jake was pretty cool and eccentric. His house was filled with recording equipment and lots of guitars. It wasn't big, but it was comfortable. Russel and Murdoc grumbled about sharing a bunk bed in a spare room, and 2D chivalrously volunteered to sleep on the floor to let Noodle and myself figure out who would get the couch.

We bickered for a little bit, as both of us were too proud to claim the more comfortable option. Eventually she won, and I had to sleep on the couch while she and 2D got to sleep on the floor like true martyrs. Glaring at them secretly in the dark, I found myself unable to sleep, and crept outside to see the stars. There weren't many, as there was a full moon, but the cool air felt nice after that cramped space.

I wandered along the narrow road, lost in thought. Finally, I came upon a small brook and chose to veer from the road to follow it. Eventually I grew tired and sat down against a tree to rest my legs for a moment. I felt my eyes closing, and couldn't find the strength to fight the urge to sleep as the brook babbled softly beside me.

A/N sorry I didn't update for a while, life just started getting in the way. I hope you forgive me and still want to read my story :) I love you all!


	22. Chapter 22

As I opened my eyes, I didn't really think to question where I was. I had been traveling a bit for a while and although being in the middle of the woods was a bit disconcerting, I quickly remembered why I was there.

It was barely dawn, but birds were singing all around me. Slowly and uncertainly I stood up on shaky legs. I walked down to the stream and touched the cold, refreshing water. It was a rather chilly morning for summer, but the ice-like stream felt wonderful all the same.

I had not realized how beautiful this little patch of forest was the night before. Well, at least it was a different sort of beauty with the warm early morning sunlight, compared to the surreal moon of the night before.

I wandered along the stream in the direction I thought I had come from, and next thing I knew I was back to the country road. I followed it and, to my relief, I did not get lost and was greeted by nothing but snores back at our home base.

I quietly went to my makeshift bed and lied down, pretending to sleep. I decided that I would go back to that magical spot that night as soon as everyone was asleep, and with that thought in mind I closed my eyes and drifted off.

I was awoken by a loud burst of laughter and banter coming from the kitchen. My eyes snapped open and I looked at the clock on the mantelpiece. It was almost noon. I wondered vaguely for a moment whether the stream had been merely a dream, but when I ran my fingers over my hair, I found some leaf residue proving otherwise.

Next thing I knew, a large brown hand was putting a mug of coffee next to me and I looked up to see Russel smiling bemusedly at me. He ruffled my hair and, to my relief, seemed not to notice the bits of leaf and twig.

He walked back to the kitchen announcing that I had awoken at last. Self conscious, I gulped down my coffee and went into the bathroom to clean up the evidence of my little escape the night before.

For the next several weeks, we recorded together by day and by night I escaped to my special spot in solitude. It comforted and inspired me, and it reminded me of summers spent camping with my family.

I thought about taking my harp with me, but decided it would be too cumbersome. One night I noticed a ukulele sitting in the corner. I figured it was probably Noodle's or 2D's, but impulsively decided that they wouldn't notice if I "borrowed" it for a few hours. As long as it was back in the morning.

I didn't know how to play it at first, but I taught myself to play some chords and soon was writing songs in the moonlight by the stream. Every night I gained confidence in my singing and songwriting skills, which I had previously not really known I had.

They never got suspicious as far as I knew. I was always back before they woke up, and adrenaline and caffeine kept me going all day. By day I was one of the Gorillaz, recording and producing. By night, I was like a moonlight song fairy. It was magical.

One of those nights, I was singing a particularly haunting song that I had written. As I reached the last chorus, I heard a tentative but lovely female harmony joining me.

"I knew I'd find you here," Noodle said, stepping into my line of sight as the song ended.

"How-"

"Oh come on, I'm not dumb. You know I'm a light sleeper, you woke me up several times when you were trying to be all sneaky." She didn't sound angry. Instead, there was a strange mixture of amusement and nostalgia in her voice. "It's the kind of thing I'd do," she said, not a trace of a smile on her face as she gazed thoughtfully into the distance.

The corners of her mouth eventually turned up into a faint smile, and, still avoiding eye contact, she came to sit beside me.

"We're good, right?" I asked nervously. She hadn't been cold or hostile towards me for months, but I still wanted some reassurance. I still wanted for us to understand each other better.

"You're a lot like me," she said, finally looking me right in the eyes intensely, peering at me with fascination from behind her moonlit hair. She gently took the ukulele from me and began to play a sweet, mysterious melody that sent shivers down my spine.

We didn't speak any more that night, just sang and watched the stream rushing by.


End file.
